


Mai on Ty Zula

by The Rambling Mai (Loopy)



Series: Mai's Ramblings [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F, No Bashing, Parody, Zero Punctuation - Freeform, and making up what she doesn't know, and sometimes lying just for her amusement, just mai interpreting everything in the worst possible light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27253987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopy/pseuds/The%20Rambling%20Mai
Summary: Mai's secret thoughts on all the Avatar ships- and you know the funny is coming when the driest, most critical personality in the show decides to let it all out! Everything Avatar is analyzed and described in the most ridiculous way possible! A fandom classic!Today, Mai looks at the all the time her two childhood friends were making out behind her back: TY ZULA!!
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Series: Mai's Ramblings [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989946
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Mai on Ty Zula

**Mai on... Ty Zula.**

"No matter how hard, fast, and consistently Nickelodeon denies it, one of the canon ships that snuck past the censors was the illicit romance between Princess Azula and Ty Lee, the two fruitcakes I have the misfortune to call my best friends.

"Azula had a rough childhood that consisted of being the Fire Lord's favorite person in the whole world and so got away with every single antic she perpetrated in service to her inborn misanthropy. She might give you a spiel about how she never had her mother's love and that it resulted in a lifetime of sociopathic rampaging, but the truth is that torturing her big brother Zuko with a sharp object relieved all her stress and kept her a happy child.

"Ty Lee was an airhead who finally proved the old wives' tale that mothers shouldn't drink Cactus Juice while they're pregnant. She has an attention span that makes a lemur look positively scholarly and a color-based outlook on life that really sent all the wrong signals about which side the river she played on.

"Azula made the rubber-willed Ty Lee her plaything to the disgust of everyone paying attention, a group of which I happened to be THE ONLY MEMBER. Eventually Ty Lee overcame her Stockholm Syndrome after an incident involving a knife, a rhino, and War Minister Qin and ran away to join the circus, probably with the notion that she could use all the clown makeup as part of a complicated plan to seduce Sokka OH WAIT SHE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT HIM YET. Azula shortly followed and offered Ty Lee the best present she could think of, namely the chance to abuse her brother Zuko.

"Things were going swimmingly between the two so long as you look at things from Azula's perspective, until a little incident that could be summarized as my taking away Azula's favorite toy and then daring her to do something about it because I couldn't stand to live another second WATCHING MY TWO SO-CALLED FRIENDS FLY FREELY UNDER THE NETWORK'S RADAR. Ty Lee saw the whole thing as her chance of escape and chained herself to my leg as I was shipped out to Alcatraz to think about what I did while I golfed and earned a Master's Degree in law.

"By the time we got back, Azula had gone crazy from the frustration of the whole silly mess and had been locked in a closet by her brother so we could all pretend she never existed. Ty Lee promptly asserted her independence by going to live on an island with a bunch of man-hating prima-donas who harbored a fetish for pointy objects and rhinos.

"And people wonder why I wear black and cut myself."


End file.
